For the last three years, this 27-year-old woman has been dating her 28-year-old girlfriend, and they recently moved in with one another.
Nearly a year ago, her girlfriend’s mom unexpectedly passed away. Her girlfriend had some problems in her life prior to her mom’s passing, but that incident really caused her girlfriend’s issues to spiral out of control.
She’s doing her best to be supportive, but her girlfriend’s failing to function as an adult, and she can’t keep pulling her weight.
“I am also physically and mentally disabled, but forced to work with adaptive devices, medication, and coping mechanisms for my own issues,” she explained.
Whenever she steps in to help her girlfriend, her girlfriend has a way of twisting things around and turning everything negative. She’s left feeling exhausted and mentally drained.
Her girlfriend can’t really cook and hardly ever cleans. She knows this stems from her girlfriend’s depression, but it’s so hard for her to come home from her mentally and physically demanding full-time job and have to pick up the slack around the house.
Adding to these struggles, her girlfriend quit her job, and she had to step in to get her a new one. Her girlfriend works in the same facility that she does, and her job is basically a dream.
All she has to do is prep and help residents in the facility; mainly, her girlfriend helps them paint or watch movies.
Her girlfriend works 32 hours a week, hates her job, and can’t even handle it. Her girlfriend cries nonstop about her job, and she doesn’t get it. There’s nothing to be unhappy about.
Other things weighing on her: her girlfriend made her unpack all their belongings in their new apartment (which turned their amazing place into a nightmare for her), and she doesn’t have a car to get around.
“Every night I come home, I can expect to get off a 9-11 hour shift only to have to buy dinner or make something when I get there, then lay down and immediately spend emotional energy I don’t have to comfort her about whatever she’s upset about tonight, which happens every night,” she continued.
“Even my birthday 3 days ago, the day was dreadful and ended with her crying in bed about her job. I love her so much. I’ve been trying so hard to remember how great and caring to me she was before her mother died, but it’s been a year, and I feel like I stepped up so much. I wish she were just able to be happy for once. It’s so hard to make her happy anymore, but I’m [a jerk] if I leave her because she’s still in such terrible grief she breaks down crying, despite a year of therapy and trying so hard to help.”
“I just don’t know how much more I can take, and I think she can feel it. I’ve completely lost all of my hobbies and become utterly exhausted with life. I know she’s trying really hard just to get by, but I’m losing my grip mentally and physically keeping us both afloat.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
